Life again
by Not Just a Nerd
Summary: Just when he was ready to die, he found life again. JALEX. ONE-SHOT. Rated T because of suicide attempt.


Disclaimer: Don't own anything. Never will.

WARNING: Jalex. Thoughts of suicide and almost suicide attempt.

*****

People say that every new beginning is an end to something. But for him, a new end brought a new beginning! Who would have guessed that while trying to end his life he'd get into a new beginning?

Well, Justin Russo sure didn't think so when he stood at the balcony of his twelfth floor apartment. His almost lifeless blue eyes looked down into the lively city, buzzing with happy people, colorful cars across busy streets and bright lights. Clearly he did not belong there. Clearly he didn't deserve to live in this world. It's better to die without her than to live without her like this.

And all these thoughts began just 3 hours back when his parents had called him up to talk about how much they hated her boyfriend. And then he can vaguely remember her whining in the background about how much they truly loved each other. And when he got off the phone after calming down his parents like he always does, the world just blurred out.

The next thing he knew was that he was standing in his balcony, thinking of putting an end to his misery. Well, not exactly an end to his misery, because he was sure he was going to hell, but life without her wasn't heaven either. And now that she finally had someone to look after her, he didn't see any reason for him to live anymore. She was the only reason why mere breathing felt like life.

Justin closed his eyes as a single tear dropped from it and starting flowing down his cheek. Slowly, he lifted his right leg to jump off the two feet high barrier that was keeping him away from hell. Just a simple jump, and that would be the end of this pain. And then-

"Justin, what are you doing in here?"

Alex. The reason for his pain.

And he had to fight back the rising lump in his throat and try to act normal again.

"I live here Alex."

Alex rolled her eyes as a silent way of saying 'obviously', but Justin wasn't facing her yet to notice that.

Justin spoke again when Alex remained silent. "I could ask you the same thing. I'm guessing it was another round of fight with mum and dad, right? "

"Actually, no, I came here to say goodbye to you." she replied in a tone steeped with determination.

Goodbye to him? How did she know he was going to die?

Oh. She didn't. She was the one going somewhere, and he sure hoped it wasn't the same place that he had planned on going. (but she was an angel, how could she go to Hell?)

"Where are you going?" Justin asked softly.

"I'm running away from home to live with Dean." Alex declared proudly.

And at this he just had to turn around. He was going to yell at her for trying such a dangerous thing, he was going to make her understand the risk involved in eloping like this, he was going to get her back home- by any means- but when he looked into those deep chocolate orbs, he could only manage a simple "Oh."

"What do you mean by 'Oh'?" Alex asked, with air quotes around 'oh' for emphasis. "Where's the over protective annoying big brother attitude?"

Big brother. Right. His biggest reality, his biggest problem.

"I'm coming with you." Justin declared slowly but sternly.

Alex tried to open her mouth to protest and argue like she always does, but when she noticed the coldness in Justin's eyes; she couldn't help feel a little scared.

"Why do you wanna come?" Alex finally managed to ask.

Justin fought back the urge to tell her the truth, and let the same painful words slip out of his lips- "Because you're my little sister." (And I so wish you weren't!)

"Okay then, go get packed. We should move before mom and dad find out that I ran away." Even Alex herself couldn't believe that she had given in so easily.

Maybe death can wait for another day? (Taking her to another boy is also a type of death, right?)

********

"So, isn't there anything you wanna talk about?" Alex asked, looking around the plane in hope of finding something interested to do, someone interesting to annoy, but having no luck. "I mean, I usually get bored with your annoying scientific talks, but I'm getting bored by doing nothing anyway."

Alex expected Justin to shout at her for such 'outrageous insult of science' like he always does, but Justin simply smiled. "What do you wanna talk about?"

"I prefer talking about me." She replied with a smirk.

Justin smiled again. "Okay, begin."

"Don't you wanna know about Dean?" She asked as she elbowed him painfully.

Yeah right, Dean. Her boyfriend. The reason for his current state of pain.

"No." he replied briefly and sternly.

"What! Why not?" Alex asked, taken aback.

"Mom and dad already told me everything I need to know." He snapped. (And if you tell me anything more, my broken heart will get shattered into thousand more pieces right here.)

"Okay then, lets talk about you." Alex replied, deciding it was best to change the subject. "What's up with you, dude? Why are you so quiet lately? You are even more boring than usual."

Justin smiled again. "I'm twenty."

"Twenty year old guys don't talk? Wow, if I knew you'd shut up when you become twenty, I would have so cast a spell for that." She chuckled.

Justin glared at Alex at the words 'cast a spell'. After all, they were in a public plane, with lots of mortals around, but thankfully, most were sleeping, no one seemed to notice.

Alex shrugged and began again. "No seriously, Justin, what's the matter? Is it girl trouble?"

Justin wanted to say yes, but he kept quite instead.

"So it is girl trouble! Did some girl turn you down?" Alex smiled, thinking about all the possible reasons why a girl would have turned her geek of a brother down. (Last time this happened, he had offered to teach the girl about Vectors on their first date.)

"No." He replied again. (Talk about brief reply.)

"Then?" Alex elbowed him again, partly to annoy him, and partly to get him to speak.

"I never told her how I feel." Justin stated calmly.

Alex rolled her eyes. Dork. "Why not?"

(Because she's forbidden for crying out loud!)

"Justin? Stop being so quiet, this silence is killing me!"

"She's in love with someone else." He blurted out suddenly in an annoyed voice.

"Oh." She stuttered at his sudden change of temper. "I'm sorry."

(You should be Alex, its all your fault. You cast that stupid spell during the vacation. You are the reason we went to look for that stone of dreams. And its your fault that I fell in love with you.)

"Umm, what's her name?" she asked, trying to lighten his mood by making him share his problem with her. (Not that she actually cared about him, ew!)

"Whose name?" Justin asked innocently.

Alex rolled her eyes again. Seriously, Justin always makes her do this. She can win a Nobel for eye-rolling (wait, what was Nobel Prize for again?) "Your little crush."

"Its not a crush." He said, looking away.

Alex looked at Justin skeptically. "What do you mean its not a crush, you just said-"

"I love her." Justin cut her off.

"Oh".

********

"Yupe, that's his apartment." Alex announced, looking at the number plate outside the two storied house. Her beautiful eyes lit up in what can only be love. "Come on, lets go!"

"Yeah, you should go in now." Justin said, dropping her suitcase by their side.

"What do you mean 'you'?" Alex scoffed.

"Bye Alex." Justin smiled as he felt his throat choke.

"What! You came all the way here and now you'll leave without even meeting Dean?" Alex complained, crossing her arms against her chest.

"Take care." Justin smiled again.

"Justin!"

And before anything else could happen, Alex ran upto Justin and hugged him tightly. Justin had to fight back the tears forming in his eyes, and he felt bad for all the other people in this world who had set their love free just like him.

And finally Alex broke apart and yelled excitedly- "Dean!"

*******

Justin had passed the last 6 months in Zeke's apartment at California. But finally he had to get back home. Alex had promised to come back home after they married. (And Justin thanked God that he didn't have to be there at her wedding- he didn't even want that picture in his mind. Not that it didn't haunt him in his nightmares.)

The apartment door opened and closed. The bags were laid on the floor. And then the door bell rang. Justin groaned as he opened the door, and the next thing he knew was that someone was gripping his collar.

"Where is she?"

"Dad?!?!"

"Where's your sister Justin?"

"I- I thought—she came back?" Justin stuttered.

"Came back? You took her to Dean, didn't you?"

Justin gulped nervously. "Yeah. But she promised me she'll come back to you"

"Well she didn't!" jerry snapped as he finally let go of his son.

"What do you mean?" Justin asked, thinking about a thousand things that may have possibly gone wrong.

"Your sister's gone. She's not with Dean. We don't know where she is." Jerry broke down.

Justin sank to the floor. Just like that, his world shattered yet again. And again, it was Alex.

*******

And three years had passed without any news from Alex. They looked everywhere, but finally had to give up. Its impossible to find a young adult who doesn't want to be found.

And he didn't know why he didn't die yet, but he guessed it was the hope of finding his Alex again someday. At least he was moving to a new state now.

And then there was Alex reigning in his dreams when he was sleeping in the plane.

And when he got out of the airport to get a cab, somebody just had to lay her feet in front of him and make him fall!

"Hey watch it, you-"

Was he awake yet?

"Alex!"

On other occasions, Justin could have sworn that Alex did this on purpose, but seeing the signs of pain in her once mischievous eyes, Justin was sure that was not the case.

"Oh my goodness Alex, I cant believe I finally found you!"

Justin rushed in to hug Alex.

"Hi, Justin!" the reply was barely a whisper as she broke down in his arms, but he was glad that at least she recognized him.

********

"Hey, guess what I have in here?" Justin asked as he entered the hotel room.

"Hmm?" Alex asked, looking up slightly.

"Cheese pizza with a pineapple topping. Don't you just love that?"

"Yeah, thanks, Justin." She offered him a weak smile.

"Come on, dig in!" He yelled enthusiastically.

"I'm not hungry, Justin." She said, looking away.

"Are you dieting?" He teased.

"No." She said simply. No eye-roll. No comebacks.

"Good, I thought you were dieting because you look skinnier and uglier than usual….." Justin teased again. "What, no insults for me? Anyways, eat, now Alex or you know the pizza goes on your dress."

"Justin! You were twelve then." Alex said, smiling slightly at the memory.

"What does age have anything to do with annoying you?" He asked, shoving her lightly with his elbow.

Alex just smiled. No protests, no hurtful comments.

And after Alex ate the pizza silently, and Justin talked all the while, Justin decided it was time to cut to the chase.

"Umm…What happened with…Dean?" He asked hesitantly.

"He….. He drove me away….from his house." Alex somehow managed not to break down, but her voice still cracked a bit.

And Justin cursed himself for not staying there a bit longer. Maybe if he had not been so selfish and ran away, his sister wouldn't have gone through so much pain.

"Well, you should pack your bags tomorrow then." He stated calmly.

Alex raised an eyebrow.

"We are going home." Justin announced sternly.

"Justin, I cant go home! Mom and dad will be so mad at me!" Alex protested, her vocie cracking slightly.

"I know, I'd love to see you get scolded." Justin chuckled.

"Justin! Can you be serious for a second?" Alex yelled.

Justin sighed. "I am serious Alex. You're going back to mom and dad."

"I can't face them! They were right all along! And I hurt them! I….. I let them down… again…… I... I cant go back….. They'll hate me." Alex sobbed and finally broke down.

"Alex, they are really worried about you. And mom and dad love you no matter what." Justin reassured, pulling her into a comforting hug.

"Justin!" Alex pleaded again.

"Please, for me?" He asked, looking into her eyes.

Alex only nodded, but that was enough for Justin. (It was never this easy with Alex.)

******

And 3 months passed at home. Finally, Alex laughed and acted normal. And Justin decided it was time for him to leave. Not for hell, just for his job in another state.

And the day of parting finally arrived.

"Justin?"

"Yeah?"

"If I ask you something, will you answer me honestly?"

"Yeah sure, after all, lying is your department."

Another roll of eyes- Perfect.

"It was me wasn't it?"

"Alex, what are you talking about?"

"You love me, don't you?"

Justin gulped. "Alex, of course I love you, you're my little sister."

"It's more than that, isn't it?"

"Why do you think-"

And before he could even complete his question, he saw the answer- his personal journal was in Alex's hands. Perfect.

"Alex…. I… I'm sorry."

"You should be. You should have told me before, Justin."

"I couldn't!"

"Why not?"

And she totally saw the '19 reasons why incest is wrong' lecture coming.

And she knew how to shut him off, just like she always did.

But this time, it wasn't the typical blackmail, nasty remarks, or stomping of foot. It was something very simple- just a kiss.

And Justin ended his journal with these final two lines- "Think again before you decide you wanna die. Maybe u'll get a reason to live the very next moment!"

(And Alex still complains about that being the cheesiest thing Justin had ever said.)

-PLEASE rate and REVIEW! and i'll say it again- suicide is the worst thing you can do to yourself. Don't ever think about it. You may find, life again :) Okay, I'm done lecturing again :P

_**IMPORTANT: I need you to vote in my profile about which Jalex story you want first.**_


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